Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - MSN Review

Jack's back. But can a crew of new shipmates and a fresh commitment to proper storytelling turn the Pirates franchise around?
There's a new director at the helm, it's in 3D and Orlando and Keira have walked the gangplank. Depressingly, alas, everything else in Pirates 4 is business as usual, a mix of convoluted plotting, slack pacing and familiar-looking action leaving you with the sneaking suspicion At World's End really should have marked the end of this bloated fantasy franchise.

At 136 minutes, On Stranger Tides actually clocks in as the shortest entry so far in the blockbuster series that kicked off back in 2003 with The Curse of the Black Pearl. But it sure doesn't seem like it, incoming director Rob Marshall showing the same lack of restraint that made the latter instalments in Gore Verbinski's initial trilogy such heavy going.

The rot sets in early with an extended sequence in Georgian London that sees cheeky pirate Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) save his trusty crewmate Joshamee Gibbs (Kevin R McNally) from a date with the hangman, only to be clapped in irons himself and be dragged before King George (Richard Griffiths). Find the mythical Fountain of Youth before the Spanish do, he is told, and he'll earn his liberty. Jack, though, would rather do it the hard way, making the first in what soon becomes an increasingly wearisome succession of elaborate escapes.

It's not long, however, before Sparrow's on the trail of the Fountain anyway, a chance meeting with old flame Angelica (Penelope Cruz) leading to him becoming a reluctant accomplice of fearsome pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Turns out the latter has just a short time to locate said elixir and needs Jack's assistance to do so, a quest that sees them head off to exotic climes with a half-man, half-zombie crew. The Spaniards are also on the case, though, as is Jack's old nemesis Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), missing a leg this time out but otherwise as devious and untrustworthy as ever.

With Depp doing his usual boozy blaggard act and Cruz happy to deliver her standard Latino spitfire, you'd think On Stranger Tides would have no problem serving up two hours of light-hearted entertainment. Unfortunately returning scripters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio have other ideas, lumbering their story with so much extraneous detail - treasure maps, mermaids' tears, silver goblets, long-dead explorers - it soon becomes impossible to follow.

Essentially it's a scavenger hunt, though with no clear idea what items are required or what use they are when found it's all too easy to switch off. This appears to have been Johnny's approach judging by his visibly unengaged performance, the star only really coming to life during one brief encounter with his dad (Rolling Stone Keith Richards) and an even briefer one with Dame Judi Dench.

Throw in a simpering romance between young missionary Sam Claflin and captured mermaid Astrid Berges-Frisbey and you're left with a lavishly lumbering dud. Time to weigh anchor and let these Pirates sail off into the sunset.